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| What are you giving out for Halloween?
We bought a box of full size Twix, an assorted box of full size M&M, Peanut M&M, Snickers, 3 Musketeers, Skittles and Starburst, a bag of Ghiardelli (you know, the filled squares), and a box of fruit snacks for the littlest goblins.
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| ... so, you know those little status updates over on Facebook? They are making me super annoyed with my friends. I'm hesitant to even write this update because I expect to be flamed for it, but I desperately want to tell everyone out there to SUCK IT UP and QUIT WHINING!
Don't complain that you are too tired to make dinner because you are pregnant with your first child. Be happy that you are pregnant. I know many women who would give anything to be in your position. Grab a take out menu and order some grub. Or eat a frickin' bowl of cereal in your jammies. Jeez louise.
On that note, don't complain that your hoo-haa or your ribs or your feet hurt either. Pregnancy is full of little aches and pains. You have no idea what real pain is yet. *evil chuckle* Try getting off your ass and joining a prenatal yoga class or going for a walk. Oh, and don't gain a shitload of weight. You'll feel better and your body will thank you.
Don't judge that lady in the store feeding her screaming kid junk, or that guy coughing up a lung on the train. Put yourself in their shoes and be glad it isn't you, because one day it might be.
Don't tell me that nothing ever works out for you when you have 3 beautiful children, a great career, and money in the bank. You're fine. Trust me.
And stop using your status updates as a way to brag about the LA parties you're going to. It doesn't impress me and it makes you look like an asshole.
Remember all the things you have to be thankful for and let the little inconveniences, aches and drama go.
Sincerely, HardToPlease (living up to my name today, no?)
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| On the ultrasound Tuesday, they couldn't see a penis. No penis. Do you know what that means?
T.R.O.U.B.L.E.
Pink. Princesses. And those silly baby headbands? NOT IN MY HOUSE! Obviously, I won't be able to ban all pink, but I definitely want to minimize it's presence. Some pink is good. All pink is bad. Repeat after me.
Considering that she has to be a girl, I might as well start looking for clothes, right? I found this, and I am in love.
Now I just need to figure out how to rationalize spending so much money on one little outfit that will most likely be covered in breast milk, regurgitated breast milk, and poo.
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| Television blaring in the background, Bob the Builder comes on.
Bryce: singing along Bob the Builder Can we fix it Bob the Builder YES WE CAN So fuckin' busy...
Apparently, Bob is feeling a little disgruntled and overworked in Bryce's version of the sound.
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| Bryce has Shingles Drew has not been vaccinated for Chicken Pox We are on spot watch So far, no spots Fetus and I are fine Well, sort of I have low platelets And antinuclear antibodies (ANA)
Usually they put you on baby aspirin for the ANA But the docs don't know what to do with me since my platelets are low Thinning my blood is a little risky Not thinning it is risky to the baby I'm still working 2 twelve hour night shifts a week I'm beat My birthday is Friday I want someone to send me to the spa for half a day 1.5 hour massage and a facial Please Oh, and a shopping trip would be nice, too I need an overhaul
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