Twitchy Eye

For about 2 weeks now, my left lower eyelid has been have conniption fits a few times a day.  I'm seriously considering closing my left eye and walking around like a pirate... or Popeye.

How to Have the Perfect Mother's Day

Step 1: Have your significant other make you blueberry pancakes and mimosas.

Step 2: Drive through the Dunkin Donut's drivethrough for your free Mother's Day latte.

Step 3: Take a family trip to the local animal farm/zoo and look at horses, pigs, peacocks, bunnies, and baby lambs.  Don't forget to feed the ducks!

Step 4: Stop at local Baja Fresh type place and get your free Mother's Day lunch.

Step 5: Go home and nap.

Step 6: Make cupcakes with homemade chocolate frosting.

Step 7: Eat cupcakes.

Step 8: Remember how lucky you are to have the greatest gift you've ever received, a healthy little boy who makes you laugh and love like you never knew was possible.

Things NOT to say to someone with infertility:

1) I get pregnant if I just look at sperm/think about sex.

Oh yeah?  Well yippy-skippy and good for you.  That means you have absolutely no idea what I am going through and no right to open your mouth.  Do you flaunt your food in front of starving people, too?

2) It's probably because you're too skinny!

Thanks for making this all my fault.  As if I don't have enough guilt on my own.  Maybe you can kick my Dad in the nuts, too, while you're busy being an asshole.  Oh, and by the way?  My BMI is 19.4.  That makes me normal, thank you very much.

So, I guess you've figured out that I'm still not pregnant.  After 3 rounds, it appears that the Clomid is not doing enough this time around and we will probably have to go see a specialist and do some more expensive and more invasive stuff.  Awesome!  This whole thing just totally sucks and I am pretty down in the dumps about it.  After we finally get pregnant again, I never want to go through this again.  I just want my two happy, healthy kids, and then I'll leave well enough alone.

What really kills me is all the cash I wasted on birth control pills in my lifetime.  Clearly, Bryce and I don't need to waste money on vasectomies or IUDs.  We've been having sex on purpose during the days I ovulate for 8 months, and I'm still not knocked up.

On the flip side, I'm having a beer.  YAY!  There is one or two good things about not being with child, y'know?

We booked a trip to Germany, Austria and Italy for the Fall.

Eeep!   I'm so excited.

First, we are going to hit up Munich for Oktoberfest.  Then, we'll stop in Innsbruck on the way to Verona, Italy.  When we get to Verona, we'll be staying with my friends whom I haven't seen since they moved back to Italy almost a year ago.

Giddyup.

Not good

So, now both of my parents are out of work.  My Mom was laid off in October.  My Dad got laid off yesterday.

Fuck.

I'm worried about them.  My Dad wants and needs to work.  He is 63 years old.  He gave his last company 18 years on the job.  They gave him 2 weeks severance in return.  How fucked up is that?  I am very afraid that he will have a hard time finding work due to his age, even though he is not planning on retiring anytime soon.

Fuck.